I've Gone Away

I know I promised Phoebe that I would stick around, but I lied. I've fell ill not too long after I returned home. Now I'm out here in this place so I can get better. I think I just needed some time to myself. Some time away from the world, a world I'm not so sure I want to be living in.

Turning Around

I finally felt something. I actually felt something. As I watched Phoebe on the carrousel something was different. I think i will stick around for a little while, but maybe just for a little while.

The End of Things

Phoebe wanted to come with me way out West. I didn’t have the guts to tell her no, so I decided to stay here. That’s all I have to say about this whole thing. I don’t really know why I tell people all these things. It’s pretty useless now that I look back on it. I think it is finally time for me to fly away, just like the ducks.

The Last of the Phonies

I woke up to find Mr. Antolini stroking my head. I have just about had enough of these phonies. I’m going way out West. I think I will pretend to be a deaf-mute so I don’t have to talk to anyone. First I’m going to meet with Phoebe at the museum so I can give her the Christmas money back.

Isolation

Isolation is a concept shown throughout the book that causes Holden such great pain, but it is also sense of security for him. He uses isolation to hide from a world he doesn't want to be in, the world of adulthood. Because he is so dependent on isolation to keep him safe, he often times ruins his own attempts to make relationships with other characters throughout the book. His encounters become meaningless when he becomes more and more isolated as the story unfolds.

Picture: http://mamrie.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/the_catcher_in_the_rye-large.jpg

More Goodbyes

Mom and Dad just came home. I’m hiding in Phoebe’s closet while they scold her for smoking. Once they go to bed, I’m going to give her my red hat and say goodbye. I’m going out West for a little while. Once I go to Mr. Atolini’s house to say goodbye to him too, I will be on my way.

Drama at Home

I never thought that a nine year old could be so opinionated. I snuck home a few hours ago, and informed Phoebe that I have been expelled from Pencey. She thinks that our dad is going to kill me. I can’t help the fact that these fancies schools are full of phonies. Then she asked me whom I like. The only people I could think of are people who are dead. Maybe that’s because I wish I was dead sometimes too.

Broken

I forgot to tell you about the part where I got drunk at the bar last night. I thought about calling Jane, but I called Sally instead. You probably aren’t surprised. I stumbled out of the bar, and once again went to look for the ducks in Central Park. When I broke Phoebe’s record I realized that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Now I am heading home to say goodbye to Phoebe, in case anything ever happens to me.

The Fear of Adulthood

Holden is terrified of adulthood. The fear of adulthood seen through the eyes of Holden is a theme in the book. He is fixed on the idea that change is a bad thing. As the story unfolds, we learn that Holden is afraid of complexity. The complications of being an adult are too much for Holden to handle. In the end, adulthood is what pushes him over the edge, and causes his mental stability to collapse.

Picture: https://amsu-english.wikispaces.com/The+Catcher+in+the+Rye?f=print

Phonies and Atomic Bombs

I went to the Wicker Bar with Carl Luce tonight. He said I needed to grow up. What is so bad about being a kid? I guess he is just a phony. I was lucky enough to get served at the bar, but it wasn’t much of a night. I've been thinking about World War 2. It would be pretty cool to ride the next a-bomb down. Talk about going out with a bang.

Picture: http://whyfiles.org/020radiation/images/mushroom.jpg

Marry Me

I guess I could say that my date with Sally could have been a little better. Actually it could have been a lot better. I couldn’t help but be annoyed when she was talking to some kid from Andover. Not to mention the play was absolutely dismal. I guess I really blew it when I asked Sally to move out to a cabin in the woods, and marry me.

The Museum of Natural History

The Museum of Natural History is one of the many symbols in The Catcher in the Rye. The museum is so appealing to Holden because it never changes. This symbolizes the world that Holden wants to live in. He wishes he could live in a world that is conflict and change free.

Picture: https://amsu-english.wikispaces.com/The+Catcher+in+the+Rye?f=print

Little Shirley Beans

I’m usually not much of a gift giver. I still have two hours before I have to meet up with Sally, so I figured I would go buy Phoebe a record. The name of the record is “Little Shirley Beans.” When I left the record store, I noticed a boy singing in the street. He was straying from his underprivileged parents that were staying on the sidewalk. This brightened my day which is sure to be dimmed after my date at the theatre with Sally.

The Ducks

In The Catcher in the Rye, the ducks and their pond are very symbolic. The ducks are proof to Holden that some things only change temporarily. They leave the pond for the winter, and return in the spring. This concept helps Holden cope with the loss of his brother, Allie, and his fast-paced life. The pond in Central Park symbolizes the transitions from childhood to adulthood. When it freezes over the ducks leave, much like how Holden wants to run away from adulthood.

picture: http://www.flickr.com/photos/90173772@N00/39097806

Nuns

I made a date with Sally for this afternoon. After I called her, I dropped my stuff off at the train station, and grabbed some breakfast. While I was eating, I met two nuns. We talked about Romeo and Juliet and I wondered if they were thinking about sex. They probably weren’t though, because they’re nuns. Anyways, I gave them ten dollars, and then I left for my date with Sally.

Sunny, the Pimp and Jesus

Sunny didn’t settle for five bucks. She and Maurice just came back to get the remaining five dollars a few minutes after I kicked her out. Maurice roughed me up a little bit, and in the end I thought about killing myself. I thought about jumping out the window just like James Castle, but I didn’t want anyone to have to see my bloody body. I guess I can go back to trying to pray. I tried to pray before Sunny and Maurice stopped by, but I can’t talk to Jesus. I like him and all, but really I’m an atheist.

Sunny

Sunny just showed up at my hotel room. I guess I wasn’t expecting her to be as young as she is. It’s sad that she is leading the life she is at such a young age. I’m starting to second guess myself on this whole thing, we both seem pretty nervous. Maybe I’ll send her home with only five dollars.

The Glove Thief

I’m sick of taxicabs. It was a forty-one block walk back to the hotel, but I didn’t care. My red hat kept my head warm. As I walked, I couldn’t help but miss my gloves that some phony stole from me. If I ever find the guy that took them I swear I would go to his room and get them back. I would think about breaking his jaw, but I probably wouldn’t have the guts to do it.

Ducks and Fish

I talked about the ducks in Central Park with the cab driver on my way to Ernie’s. He didn’t have much to say. I guess he was more into the fish than the ducks, because he thinks that the fish have a harder time. The fish can’t fly away like the ducks can. Sometimes I feel like I want to fly away, but I don’t know where I would go.

I'm Still Thinking About Jane

I find myself thinking about Jane more and more these days. I’m in the lobbying remembering the time when I kissed her all over her face as she cried over her problems at home. I swear I think he stepdad is not good to her. He doesn’t treat her like a dad should. Like I’ve said before, adults are phonies. Everyone is leaving now. I think I’ll catch a cab to Ernie’s, a nightclub in Greenwich Village.

The Lavender Room

I thought about calling Phoebe tonight, but I figured I would have to talk to my parents first. I miss seeing her hair everyday. It’s red, just like Allies was. Once I decided not to give her a call, I went down to the Lavender Room. I met some women from Seattle, and I tried to order some Scotch. The women turned out to be incredibly stupid, and the waiter knew I was underage.

Ernie's Mom

When I left Pencey last night I headed to the train station where I saw Ernie’s mom. She asked me why I was leaving school before the semester was over and I lied to her. I told her that I had a brain tumor, and I was going home to have surgery. I guess I’m a pretty good liar. I’m probably the best liar you will ever know.

I'm Getting Out of Here

I kind of figured Stradlater wouldn’t like my choice of topic. After I read it to him, I tore it into pieces. My frustration with him really pushed me over the edge so I decided to sleep in Ackley’s room for the night. I can’t help but think about Stradlater’s date with Jane. I’ve decided that I’m leaving Pencey tonight, because I can’t stand being here with all the phonies any longer.

Red-headed Allie

I’m writing Stradlater’s paper about Allies mitt. I’ve had my brothers left-handed fielders mitt ever since he died when I was thirteen. I still miss the kid, especially his flaming red hair. My brother was so clever, so smart. Even at a young age, he was always writing. He wrote poems in green ink all over the inside of his mitt so he could read when he was bored out on the field. I still think about the night he died. I punched out all the windows in the garage, and I would’ve punched the car door windows out too if my hand hadn’t been cut and broken.

Picture: http://vcardona90.edublogs.org/2008/03/13/allies-baseball-mitt/

Little Miss Jane Gallagher

Stradlater gets more and more phony every time he opens his mouth. He asked me to write his English paper for him. Sure I’m good at English, but that doesn’t mean that I like it. To top it all off, he is going on a date with Jane tonight. Whether Stradlater knows it or not, she is definitely not his type. I thought for a little while that I should go down and say hello to her, but I chickened out. After Stradlater left, I was tormented by thoughts of Stradlater and Jane. Then Ackley came back into my room and distracted me until dinnertime.

Pencey Prep Phonies

I can’t seem to get any decent relaxation time at this stupid school. Ackley barged into my dorm just as I sat down to catch up on some reading. He is always touching my stuff with his dirty hands, which are almost as repulsing as his teeth. A few minutes after that, my roommate Stradlater came back from the game and asked to borrow my jacket. And you wonder why I can’t stand places like this. Pencey is full of a bunch of phonies. Good thing I have been expelled so I don’t have to come back here after Christmas break.

Old Spencer

I came out of there being more annoyed with the man than I was when I arrived. It was supposed to be a simple farewell that turned into some lengthy lecture on discipline. To be honest I wasn’t paying attention for the majority of the time. I thought about the ducks at the park. Where do they go in the winter? They can’t stay in the lagoon, that’s a death sentence. Maybe someone tells them where to go. Maybe they fly far away. Do they come back? Maybe they are just as lost as I am.

The First of Many Goodbyes

The season- ending football game between Pencey and Saxon Hill is today. You probably already know this, but I don’t plan on going to the game. I mean it’s just for phonies who like to waste their time in the freezing cold air to watch some pointless football game. I figured I would go say goodbye to Mr. Spencer, not that I’m really going to miss him or anything.